7/21/2012- After seeing Scott in the TICU, I was faced with the daunting task of informing the people that were with me about Scott's situation. The first was going to the waiting room where my children and my brother-in-law were. It was so difficult to gain my composure and tell them what was happening. They had already heard the news from Dr. Seamon, so I think that they were somewhat prepared for my report.

Doug, my brother-in-law was waiting for me. You have to understand that Doug and I have a special relationship. From the first day Scott introduced me to his family, Dougie and I were "Buds". He wasn't even five years old yet. He used to fist fight with Scott and tell him that I was his girlfriend. Scott and I had to keep a certain distance between each other or Dougie would get jealous. If Scott and I sat on the couch to watch television, Dougie would weasel his way in between the two of us. Dougie and I did everything together, I took him with me everywhere I went. He was like the little brother I never had. He actually was late for his fifth birthday party because he was with me spending the day at my grandfather's pool and I got lost on the way back to his house. Luckily, that smart little shit knew the way back home. I still to this day, twenty years later, have not heard the end of that one.

 The bond between him and Scott is much deeper. Scott has always been so patient with Doug. Scott has taught him so many things about being a father, a brother, a son, an electrician, being on a sprint car team and being a decent, loving human being. Doug looked up to Scott then and still does to this day. I wasn't sure how Dougie would take the news about his big brother and the condition he was in. Even if Scott lived through this, things would not be the same.  I needed Doug to grow up in a hurry. I needed him to help me and be there for his brother, be there for me and my kids. I was so happy to have him there with me. I knew he would man up and help me. I knew I could count on him.

The visiting hours at Cooper University hospital are ridiculous. Ridiculous in the sense that they do not allow anyone in the room unless it is during their preset hours. For the TICU is was 9am-10am, 1pm-5pm and 8:30pm-11pm.  No exceptions. It didn't matter who you were or what the situation was. They wouldn't allow spouses, parents, children, no one. And to top it off, you had to be 16 to enter the unit. That left Morgan out from visiting her father as long as he was in that unit.

After the initial consultation with Dr. Seamon, he told me I could take the kids in one by one to see their dad, but it had to be brief. Of course, I lied at the front desk and told the woman that Doug was my eldest son, which was why they let him upstairs with me in the first place. When it was time for Morgan to go in to visit, the nurse asked how old she was. I told him she was 14, thinking that would be old enough to go in and visit. He pointed at the sign and said she needs to be 16. Man, I was mad. Why didn't I see that stupid sign and lie about her age? He said she could go in but only after someone from the Psychology unit came and counseled her first. Really? Are you serious? Yes, he was. Absolutely no admittance for that little girl until she was counseled first. I couldn't believe it. What if he didn't live that long? How could they deny his only daughter? They didn't care. Rules are rules.

We waited, what seemed like an eternity for someone to come "counsel" Morgan on visiting a patient in the TICU. Little did they know, we had already been there and done that several times in our lives. My kids were professionals at Intensive Care Units. My kids had already experienced the precursor to death from cancer from several very close relatives. My patience was thin and hers was thinner. We had others waiting on us downstairs. We had dozens of phone calls to make, arrangements to be made. I didn't even know where I was going to sleep. And frankly, it was bullshit that she couldn't go in to see her father. Dougie and Matt had had their turn visiting, why couldn't she?

I felt a little sorry for the five foot something male nurse that came through the waiting room doors. You could tell he wanted to play by the rules. T's crossed and I's dotted. He told us that we would have to wait until the morning hours for a psychologist to come evaluate Morgan because no one from Psychology would answer his page. Morgan was done waiting. I think she grew a few inches that night. She went nose to nose with that nurse, chest puffed out and told him, "That is my father and I am going in there." She walked right passed him and hit the automatic button to open the door to the unit. He stuttered at me and tried to explain the consequences of letting someone her age in the trauma unit. Following our daughter into the unit, I told him she would be fine and I would take full responsibility for her mental anguish. All that time wasted on these people.

The only thing she wanted was to see her Daddy and kiss him goodnight.