5/25/2012- It is such a relief to have my husband home again after another hospital stay. Yes, it's hard work for me. But that doesn't matter. At least he is here where I can take care of him. There is nothing scarier than having a loved one in the hospital and under the "care" of people who don't know your history, don't know what you've been through and frankly, most of them don't care. Some would say, "Stay with him 24/7" but unless you have been through a medical ordeal, don't ever say that to someone. There is nothing more aggravating, frustrating and mind-numbing than to sit in a hospital room day in and day out. It's a helpless feeling that I wouldn't wish on my worst emeny. Every moment that I am not with him, is a nauseating, guilt-ridden experience.  But I knew that I needed to take a break, go home to keep my sanity and to take care of him, my family and my house.

I officially met my husband, Scott, the summer after I graduated from high school. Of course, I knew who he was but we had never met.  I remember several times throughout high school listening to other girls who had partied with him and his friends. There was a day that I distinctly remember. My best friend, Barb showed up late for school one morning. She was wearing the same clothes she had on the night before. I went to her locker and asked where she had been. She said she was out all night partying with Scott, Mike, Jeff and I can't remember who else.  All I could think about was being jealous of her and wanting the same experience. She always partied with the cool kids. The kids I wanted to hang out with. He was definetley out of my league.  Not to mention, I always had a boyfriend.

I really don't remember very many days of my childhood. There are very few moments that stick to my memory.  I will never forget the day when we had lost a fellow classmate.  I remember walking through the halls of our high school and there was hardly a soul.  Earlier, they had made an announcement that the buses were ready for those who wanted to attend the memorial. A memorial for a young man, only 17, who was killed in a car accident. The shock amongst the entire high school was evident. The loss that everyone felt was crystal clear. I knew who Matt Maxson was, but had never met him. Just like Scott, I knew who he was. I learned later on in our relationship that Matt was Scott's best friend and cousin.  And this was not Scott's first tragedy.

These few moments in time started my intrigue with Scott. He was truly the All-American guy. Tall, blonde, blue-eyed and a body that did not quit. Once I met him, I knew right away, I couldn't live without him. He was so interesting. Everything about him was addicting. He loved kids, loved horses, loved racing, loved his family. He was passionate about women, passionate about his friends, passionate about life. The first face to face encounter with him, all I could see was his sparkling, bright blue eyes. He could look right through me with his eyes. I've been lost in those blue eyes several times in the past 20 years.