6/18/12- Scott was eventually airlifted to Cooper University Hospital in Camden, New Jersey. Cooper University Hospital is located a stone’s throw from Rutger’s University and is a teaching hospital, both medical and dental. They also have a Level One Trauma Unit there and I quickly found out why. Camden, New Jersey has been ranked, on several occasions, as one of the top 25 most dangerous cities in America. Ranked as one of the most violent cities in the country and I was on my way there. Little did I know, or did it even cross my mind, that I would spend the next 41 days in one of the nation’s most treacherous cities.

Morgan and I arrived safely to Cooper’s emergency unit. Everyone met us outside to help with our bags and we headed into the emergency waiting room. I could tell by the look on certain people’s faces, this was not a place we wanted to be, not even for a minute. I really don’t remember too many details about our arrival. I was just so thankful that we had gotten there in one piece and without incident. And on the other hand, was so scared of what was going to happen next. The driver that brought us to the hospital was so empathic the entire time. He understood my urgency to get there and did it in record time. He didn’t try to make small talk or try to tell me he knew how I felt. He just helped us out of the car and wished us good luck. I am sure he has made the drive from the airport to the hospital with sobbing, hysterical passengers several times. He was completely professional and I appreciated that. I didn’t want to tell a perfect stranger anymore than I had to and I really didn’t have any details to tell. They had taken Scott to surgery but no one had any updates.

As I said before, Doug and Matt were also in need of medical attention. They were both treated and released. Apparently, Doug was taken to a completely different hospital than Scott and Matt and the crew temporarily lost him. From what I hear, it was complete chaos and trying to get a straight answer from any official at the track was impossible. Bruce, Lynne and Alan, acquaintances of Ray’s, were at the track when everything happened and were eventually able to find Doug at another nearby hospital and bring him to Cooper. He needed about a dozen staples in his head but was released with no major injuries. Matt was treated at Cooper for cuts and scrapes and released.

I later found out that Matt’s injuries did not occur from the actual impact, but from him attacking the other driver and his crew. It makes my heart hurt to know that my son had to not only witness his father being viciously injured but the anger he must have felt towards that driver. And having to confront him and his crew alone, it makes me nauseous. I hate to say this, but I hope Matt was able to get a few good licks in. I never would encourage that type of behavior. However, I am pretty sure that I would have reacted in the same way and I am positive Scott would have beaten the tar out of anyone who was so irresponsible and negligent, especially if someone on his crew was hurt because of it.

Even though Scott was worse than anyone knew at the time, I cannot imagine if Doug and Matt were in the same condition. I could have never lived with myself knowing that we put two young boys in such extreme danger. I never thought that anyone would get hurt that day or ever. It was what we did and I never had a second thought about sending them with Scott that weekend or any other weekend, even when they were little. It was supposed to be like any other race weekend. They would leave, have fun, get dirty, hopefully win and come home. No big deal.

Maybe someday, the people that were there that night will be able to give me the specifics on the events that happened next. It is so vague to me. I have no concept of what time is was, where I was, who I was with, what I was supposed to do, where I was supposed to go. A million stupid things ran through my mind that night. Like flashes of certain moments, some in slow motion, some that seemed to happened so quickly. I try so hard to remember the time frame of events, my surroundings, what people said to me. I really pride myself on being in charge, intelligent, organized, efficient and productive. But that night, and still to this day, I feel completely and absolutely helpless. I do not remember so many things of what happened and it really bothers me.

How could I not remember something like this? How do I not know what happened every second, every minute of the worst day of my life?